The Decision
During a family gathering on an idyllic late afternoon, Carol struggles with her family's distrust and realizes she needs to take action to change her life.
Illustration created by Bing Image Creator
The sight of the river flowing gently along its bed could keep Carol mesmerized for hours on end. The monotony of the scene was disturbed only by the occasional passage of a boat, when two glossy waves would form, advancing impassively toward the opposite banks, followed by a gentle ripple and a trail of white foam that softly enveloped the riverside vegetation, marking the scene’s return to normalcy. After spending far too long lost in that solitary contemplation, she realizes she should go inside and join the others, or they’ll start making comments. She then casts one last glance toward the horizon, gazing at the slow dance of the golden, dusty rays of the setting sun over the estuary. Where might the ashes of her companion be now—ashes that were scattered without any ceremony into these waters exactly one year ago?“No matter what events disrupt the routine, life always returns to its course, indifferent. Like the waters of a river. So why keep torturing myself?” she murmurs, turning her attention back to the house and deciding to join the lively conversation in the living room. She lowers her gaze to the floor and crosses the kitchen with hurried steps. But as she approaches the living room door, she is held back by the arm.
“Stay here with us,” says her aunt, who, with a sweeping gesture of her hand, points to the group of women gathered in the kitchen. “Ugh,” Carol mutters, quickly rolling her eyes toward the ceiling as she slumps resignedly onto a stool next to the sink. She spreads a dish towel over her lap and begins peeling the potatoes for the mayonnaise salad, preparing herself for the usual barrage of complaints about the men in the family and the exchange of recipes. But her mind soon wanders far away from there.
At first, she ponders how to respond to the invitation she received fifteen days ago from an American university. But the matter is too serious, and she has felt too drained to make decisions since André passed away. She then turns her attention to more trivial matters and wonders if it isn’t time to renovate the terrace of her apartment so she can entertain friends more comfortably. After all, sooner or later she’ll have to return the invitations she receives every weekend; otherwise, people will stop including her in the group.
Carol was lost in these daydreams when her aunt startled her by shaking her arm and looking at her with a barely concealed smile. “What do you think of this?” she asks. But Carol has no clue what they’re talking about. She realizes she’s walked into a trap when she notices that all the women are staring at her, watching for any slip-up on her part. Her reputation in the group isn’t great. Everyone thinks she’s snobby and has already noticed that she gets annoyed by family conversations. Why, after all, does she insist on being different from everyone else?
But today Carol is definitely not in the mood for trouble. She looks at her sister-in-law, who, standing in the middle of the kitchen, gives her a bitter look while waiting for her answer. She watches Elisabete absentmindedly caress a set of gold bracelets she wears on her right wrist no matter the occasion. This gesture reminds her that her sister-in-law had been persuaded by her husband to sell her favorite bracelet if she continued to insist on getting a new car. “Oh, poor thing,” Carol says with a look of dismay directed at her sister-in-law, “that was such an injustice on his part!” Temporarily satisfied with the response, the others turn their attention back to Elisabete, who is now showing off her new car parked in the courtyard with undisguised pride.
Hardly believing her luck, Carol struggles to hold back her laughter. Noticing that her aunt is watching her and seems to be reflecting on what just happened, she decides to lock herself in the bathroom for a moment to regain her composure.
When she opens the bathroom door a few minutes later, she is startled by the roars of laughter coming from the men gathered in the next room. Curious to find out what they were laughing at, she approaches the group, but they quickly pause their conversation and turn their eyes toward her, waiting patiently for her to return to the women’s group so they can pick up the conversation where they left off.
She finally understands the reason behind this uncomfortable feeling that has been troubling her ever since André died. Without him to serve as a bridge to others, she feels as if she were wandering alone through the world, speaking a different language from everyone else, living in a parallel reality. “I don’t know why I insist on living like this. I should look for people with interests similar to mine—people who value me. But of course...” She has just realized that the invitation she recently received is a godsend, the perfect solution to her dilemma. She feels there’s no need to waste time weighing the pros and cons anymore: the decision is made! Surprised by her own courage and determination, she finally bursts out laughing.
Carol’s aunt sees her standing halfway between the living room and the kitchen and closely watches the shifts in her mood as they flicker across her face. After a few minutes of observing the scene, she turns to her daughter and remarks, “That girl is acting even stranger today!” Realizing the situation, Carol decides to interrupt the women’s conversation about the plans to renovate the beach house. Half surprised, half annoyed by this disrespectful behavior, they wait silently for Carol to apologize for her awkwardness. But she ignores the cold stares she receives and simply says, “I received an offer to work at a research center in the United States and decided to accept it. I’m moving there next month.”
After an awkward silence during which no one reacts, her sister-in-law says loud and clear, “Oh, that’s great.” On her face, a smile that doesn’t reach the corners of her eyes. Little by little, the others resume their previous conversation, as if nothing had happened. Carol steps away from the group to look for her purse, quietly opens the front door, and walks toward her car. On the horizon, a blazing ball of fire merges with the river’s waters; meanwhile, the cool night air fills the garden, bringing with it the hope of a new life.