The Smell of Neurosis
You know that saying that lightning never strikes twice in the same place? It’s a lie! When the first bolt of lightning strikes, it ionizes the atmosphere and clears a path for others to follow. The same goes for friendships—more specifically, the difficult ones. You’ve surely found yourself repeating the same pattern of a problematic relationship with someone completely new in your life. You’d sworn never to get yourself into that mess again, but before you know it, it’s happening all over again. The eternal cycle of life!
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A few days ago, I went out with a new friend. We were going to meet up with a group at a bar not too far from home. We decided to walk there to enjoy the pleasant evening. But before I knew it, I was following her through the city like a crazed little lamb. We were running through the streets, but why? Only God knows! The weather was perfect and there was no rush, but the walk that at first promised to be pleasant had soon turned into an endurance test—both physical and psychological. She was ahead of me, moving quickly, running from her demons, almost oblivious to my presence. I, who was raised to be patient with difficult people and not to complain—since any sign of displeasure was seen as a personal affront—was huffing and puffing behind my friend, trying to distract her from her personal problems so that we could both finally enjoy the walk and the evening breeze. I didn’t succeed, and I ended up feeling more like an appendage than a companion.
Several decades have passed since my early childhood, and over time I’ve learned two things: no one deserves to put up with difficult people, and you have to set boundaries with others when a situation doesn’t suit you. With that in mind, at the turn of 2026, I cleaned house in my life. You know those relationships that aren’t enjoyable anymore, yet you still keep them out of sheer habit? I stopped dragging them through my life like suitcases without wheels. I stopped accepting invitations from those who didn’t show me respect, who treated me like an extra rather than a friend, or who seemed more interested in taking advantage of me. The eagerness to have friends and combat loneliness sometimes makes us far too complacent with others. A friend definitely isn’t just anyone—they have to earn that title.
But did you know that neurosis has a smell? Otherwise, how can you explain that that stranger you barely met—and with whom you quickly felt a connection—turns out, over time, to be so skilled at exploiting your weaknesses? You think you’ve just discovered the key to your lock, but the lock remains old and full of the same flaws you thought you’d already fixed! That’s how we are—full of flaws that not even psychoanalysis can fix—but it’s always possible to fight to break the patterns in our lives that cause us suffering. Sometimes it’s enough to lose yourself in the folds of space-time, turn down invitations that don’t suit you, and slip away with elegance.
Have a great week!
Translated to english by DeepL (I'm paying now!)
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